"Metro Physics" and other lessons I've learned...

It never ceases to amaze me how many generally common sense rules go out the window, when one rides the Metro. One such is that if you are going to be in public, you should oh I don't know....PUT ON DEODORANT. Now I certainly understand the blue collar worker at the end of his shift being a bit pungent (though he should still reasonably be able to control that). But for the white collar cats, like the one I had the displeasure of being trapped on the blue line with this morning, the scent of ass and corn chips is wholly unacceptable at 9:40am. Did you run a couple of games of hoops in your khakis and polo, before hopping on the train? Seriously, just....get it together. Furthermore, I KNOW you smell yourself. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have a seat. Must you grab the overhead grip,exposing your pits, and allowing your funk to waft through the train? I just don't understand it, but you get the point. Another key issue are a series of principles I like to call, "Metro Physics". As most people readily know, two objects cannot occupy the same space simultaneously. This is never more apparent than when, shall we say a plus-sized individual tries to cram into a space on the train that would barely accommodate an average-sized person. Why are you looking at me funny? You know damn well, you are not a Size 8. No I will not kiss the glass, just so all 350lbs of you can be comfortable. You shoulda waited for the next train! Another simple lesson is inertia, or the tendency of an object to remain in motion, unless acted on by an outside force. To wit, just because the train stops, unless you're holding onto something......doesn't mean you will too. I see it happen to young and old alike. Oh and please, believe elderly doesn't necessarily save you from my muffled laughter. I could go on with these all day, but you get the general idea. In the end, I think we can all enjoy our rides quite a bit more if we simply stick to the basics that all of us learned as kids. Oh, and the Golden Rule works on trains too....